Since I’m only talking about the three more interesting Blu-ray releases today I’m forced to leave the two I Spit on Your Grave movies off this list. Which is a dirty shame really. I thought it would be illuminating to discuss which Blu-ray cover had the better booty on it. The original, natural 1978 version? Or the newer, narrower, thank-you-Sketchers-Shape-Ups 2010 version???
I don’t mean to sound like Jerry Garcia here…. but I like em’ hippy. I’m going with 1978.
Here’s a few other Blu-rays being released today:
1) Life As We Know It
Katherine Heigl movies. Baby showers. The glowing glass cities of make-up brands, gay men, and perfumes that fill the ground floor of department stores all across America. Shopping trips to Ikea. WWE Monday Night Raw… I usually avoid all of these things if I can. I threw the Monday Night Raw in there to show that there are limits to what my masculinity can and will handle.
Those things aside I think this new Heigl movie looks really-really cute and cuddly. I want to park my brain in it like it’s a big pink sleeping bag and take a nap there for a few uninterrupted hours.
2) Paranormal Activity 2
Hello annual Saw movie replacement! Goodbye REM sleep…
I can’t vouch for the scare factor of this new Paranormal Activity film – I can only vouch for the original. Under the right, exact circumstances I’m sure these movies will frak you up thoroughly. I don’t think my wife will allow me to bring this new haunt movie anywhere near the house. There’s probably a good reason for that. Still… I’m drawn to it. I want to close the blinds, flip-off all the lights and drown myself in a cold tub of spooky for 90 minutes.
3) Uncle Buck
I just saw this again a few weeks ago. If there’s one or two things John Hughes did better than anybody else in this business it was that he made the suburbs of Chicago look like an exotic destination. I watch Uncle Buck, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Plains Trains, and Automobiles, Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club and I still wish I had grown up in these houses, in these posh neighborhoods, with those clothes, listening to that music.
The other thing Hughes did better than anybody else was to make every single person in his movies – extras included – a real character, with his or her own story, even if they never spoke a single line in the film.
Example: The little kid waiting for his turn in the Principle’s office giggling to himself as John Candy flips the nasty hag a quarter and tells her to go find a rat to gnaw that thing off her face. The line is still gold. But it’s the giggling second grader listening in that sells the joke.
Christ I still miss John Candy…