Being single on Long Island has its ups and its downs. More often you may feel there are more downs than ups. Long Island is where couples go to settle down and start a family. It can seem like everyone here is in a relationship and the pressure may be on for you to be in one, too. If you’re ready to be a part of a couple again, that’s great. Just make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. There are plenty of wrong ones out there.
A good reason to stop being single and be in a committed relationship is that you’re emotionally ready to do so. Your ex in no way influences how you feel or what you do and you can finally be your own person. It’s not a good idea to start a relationship when you’re not completely over someone. You may find yourself over-reacting to something your new partner does that is similar to what your ex did and could end up comparing the two of them during the relationship. That’s not a good thing. If you feel that won’t be a problem, than go ahead and commit.
Another good reason to be in a relationship is because you’ve finally found someone you really connect with. Every day is made brighter because this guy is now in your life. Even if it’s not love at first sight, if there’s a spark there and both of you are interested in seeing where it leads, that’s a good sign. If you’ve completely fallen for someone and the feeling is mutual, go for it. There’s no better reason to be in a relationship.
However, you don’t want to confuse love and lust. You may find someone who’s physically attractive, but isn’t good for you, or good at all. Being a couple with someone based on looks alone is never a good idea. It may seem like it is in the beginning, but after you get to know him and realize all he has to offer are his looks, you may end up regretting it. Make sure there’s something more there than physical attraction.
You should also avoid getting into a relationship just because you found a guy who is the total opposite of your ex. If you meet someone who is absolutely nothing like the men you’ve dated, it doesn’t necessarily mean a relationship with this new guy will be more successful. You also don’t want to start dating just to get back at your ex. Then you’re just using the other person and aren’t really committing. When starting a new relationship, your ex should have nothing to do with who you choose to be with.
Finally, do not start a relationship just because you feel lonely or are unhappy with your life. Happiness doesn’t come from another person. If you can’t be happy on your own, why would someone else change that? There are plenty of people who are single and happy, and plenty of couples who are unhappy. Loneliness is a state of mind. By looking at things from a positive perspective you can learn to embrace the single life and won’t feel the need to find someone to save you from yourself. You’re the only one who can do that.
If the first two reasons apply to you, then go ahead and start a relationship. If the other three reasons are more fitting, you’re not ready yet. Being single may not always be enjoyable, but sometimes we need time to recover from what’s already happened. You don’t want to bring your baggage with you and you don’t want to date someone just for the sake of saying you’re no longer single. There are good reasons and bad reasons for ending the single life. Just make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons.