If there is one rhetorical question that both Vitali and Wladimir Klitschko must be sick of, it’s asking when the two world heavyweight champions and brothers of the same mother will fight.
You know, like Serena and Venus Williams square off on the tennis racket. Or, to get back to boxing, like Bobby and Manny Pacquiao, Leon and Michael Spinks or Buddy and Max Baer.
Whaddya mean those ring bros never fought each other either?
But I threw it out, anyway, to Wlad when he was in New York last week for the premiere of the exciting FX cable network boxing themed series, “Lights Out,” which begins airing Thursday night.
The 34 year old Wladimir, whose projected July 2 defense against third “champion,” WBA titleholder and London Loudmouth David Haye blew up while he was visiting my fair city, first answered my question with a question.
“Let me ask, when did two brothers fight before?” Klitschko said.
“Boxing, I don’t know but how about Cain and Abel in the Bible,” I said.
“This fight will never happen with my brother,” Wladimir said, smiling.
“Did you fight your brother?” he asked.
“Sure,” I said, “I took my Everlast gloves, took my little brother into our backyard, jabbed his head off, his nose would bleed, he cried and my Mom came after me with a hockey stick. She was some hockey player, she rarely missed her goal.”
Wladimir chuckled but persisted in saying “nyet” to the two best current heavyweights fighting for real.
“When I was younger, I sparred with Vitali and I got hurt,” Wladimir said. “It’s no good to fight your own brother.”
But that was then, I said, and now Cain-Abel II, meaning Wlad-Vitali, would generate a jackpot perhaps even bigger than Mayweather-Pacquiao could.
“It won’t happen, forget it,” Wladimir said. “There are no winners in this fight.”
In the case of the Pacquiao Brothers, it won’t happen either, especially since Manny has insisted that former pro journeyman Bobby hang up his gloves.
So I took another tack. What does Wladimir think about Manny then?
“Oh, Manny,” he said, “Manny is great. I love Manny, he is the best coach in boxing.”
The playful Wlad, of course, meant his trainer, Emanuel Steward and not Emmanuel Dapidran Pacquiao.
“Manny Pacquiao is great, he brings a lot of excitment to the ring, to his fights and the fans love his style,” Klitschko said.
“Also, what he is doing outside the ring, what he does in politics is important. I leave the politics in my family to Vitali (former mayoralty candidate in Kiev) but I follow them because politics are important to know about.”
And we know this, the Brothers Karamazov can fight but the Brothers Klitschko never will.