Paris Hilton, the originally famous for nothing heiress, has turned thirty this past week. With the crazy antics of her twenties now behind her, jail stints and courtroom dramatics under her belt; one can only imagine what the next decade will bring. Paris herself on Letterman stated she was all grown up and thinking about having children in the near future (which will probably be chronicled in a reality series). While some of you may cringe at the thought of this blond tart reproducing and rearing an exploitative clan of mini fame mongers, the truth is Paris Hilton has a lot to offer a budding young socialite. For example, the proper way to exit a car when not wearing underwear, how to differentiate between gum and cocaine in a pinch, the do’s and don’ts of sex tapes or throwing cocktails in people’s faces 101. Then there’s Paris’s literary prowess exemplified in “Confession’s of an Heiress” or her quality acting ability as seen in “The Hottie and the Nottie” and “Bottoms Up” to be inherited. And let’s not forget her vocal contribution to the world of music that could be passed on and shared with future generations. Why should we be the only ones to suffer…er…I mean, benefit?
To commemorate Paris Hilton’s 30 year mark in life and to toast her future walking talking dollar signs, here are a few cocktails to celebrate this momentous occasion.
The Paris Hilton Cocktail
- 1 o Vodka
- 1/2 oz UV Orange Vodka
- 1 oz Mountain Dew
Pour ingredients into a rocks glass filled with ice. Stir and garnish with an orange wheel.
The Bitter Heiress
- 3 oz Lillet
- 1 oz freshly squeezed orange juice
- 1 good splash Campari
- 2 pieces of orange peel for garnish
Add all ingredients (except orange peel) to a shaker tin with ice. Stir rapidly until outside of shaker is frosted, then strain into a chilled martini glass. Hold a piece of orange peel by the edges and, with the skin facing drink, about 3 inches above surface. Strike a match and hold between peel and drink. Squeeze so it bends toward match to spray flaming citrus oil onto surface of drink. Garnish drink with remaining orange peel.
- 2 oz Raspberry vodka
- 1/2 oz Raspberry liqueur (Razmatazz or Chambord)
- 1 oz Sprite/7-Up
Pour all ingredients into a shaker tin with ice. Shake and strain into a martini/cocktail glass. Garnish with a lemon twist.
While the hands of time tick for everyone, including Paris Hilton, you can take solace in the adage ‘older and wiser’ probably isn’t applicable in her case. Like a skinny Anna Nicole Smith who got crazier by the week, I personally look forward to see what Paris does next.