Modern man has created a world where life gives and takes as much as it wants, not as much as it needs. As a young teenager, one may feel that life is a rollercoaster of emotions, that happiness is an emotion we are not all too familiar with and that love is something just like that gnawing toothache we feel and love to agonize over without doing anything about it. When love is new and is such a complex emotion that is too complicated to fully understand, it still doesn’t mean that all the rocks have been overturned, for love’s rocks will never all be overturned. When one is besotted with a particular person, it is oftentimes very difficult to see the reality of what is real and what we want to be real.
Without a continuous examination of ourselves and the situation around us, we are dead to the universe. Usually we have an idea in our heads about how we want things to turn out, about how things actually are. We wish perpetually for the best outcome for ourselves, and perhaps oftentimes, we may not consider the best outcome for the other person. Consider that your first love is the one crucial experience that will build the remainder of your ideas as well as your belief system surrounding love. Should this not then be seen from all angles with a wholehearted view if you are to consider this, if only to merely give you an objective view of the truth? It can go two ways. On the one hand, your first love can be so magical that you unrealistically expect this to continue throughout every romantic affair in your life. You may hold the bar too high for the future, that no other relationship will come close to what you have lived. This becomes a predicament, because you cannot experience a healthy, realistic, mature relationship that is tested by the winds of time, and appreciate it for what it truly is. On the other hand however, experiencing a violent or a negative first love can have even further debilitating effects on your future romance, certainly to a much greater degree, but one which can give you a reflection which will enable you to think back to what you do not want in a relationship. Remember that everything you do is about perception. You can choose to see things in a positive light, providing you with positive lessons about love or you can choose to see it negatively and allow it to take its toll on you and every relationship you will enter into in the future.
First loves are given far too much credit, since they are of course our first experience of love. We will naturally feel them a lot deeper and any emotions attached to memories or experiences concerning this first love, will be filtered through a belief system. Expectations we have may either be too high and as a result, our real experience may not match up to this, or expectations may be too low, and as a result, we may in fact sell ourselves short. For this reason it is important to always try to look at the relationship, or even if it is not a relationship and merely young love where two people are exploring each other and what they want out of love and relationships, that both are always honest about what they expect and want. When this happens, it allows both parties to be honest and clear from the start, and that way if there is a break up or you decide to go your separate way, that there is no unbearable heartache involved. Leading a person on and allowing them to believe that you love them when in fact you do not, only leaves room for broken hearts and leaves a mess where future relationships are involved. Honesty is always the best policy. Choose to be honest and hurt someone’s feeling from the start, rather than stringing them along and having a lot more to explain and sift through when you may be knee deep. As a teenager it is important to weigh the situation up and to avoid giving your feelings and the situation more credit than it is worth. Yes it is important to celebrate your first love with as much joy and amazement as possible, but what we need to realize, is that the more we look at the relationship from an outsiders point of view, we will be able to make better, more rational decisions and take time to be truly honest with ourselves about what we want in a relationship. Staying focused on your own needs and wants and continuing to invest in your own life, will further allow you to invest better in your relationship, as well as invest in yourself and bring you closer to the truth.