Good Morning my Jersey peeps! How’s your melon? A lot better than Sammi’s stuff I hope, because that shizz was trashed last night. Oh sweet baby Jesus in a manger what were those kids from the shores of Jersey doing last night? Let’s grab our hangover cures and chat for a bit…
Things we love
Sammi-holy hell yes she made this list, because she’s OUTTA here! Last night after the ‘roid rage to end all ‘roid rages, Sammi booked it back home in a cab. Buh Bye girlfriend take your, ‘I sucked a lemon hard’ face, back home. The roommates all hugged it out and Pauly D gave her a final ‘Cabs Heeyah’ salute.
Jwoww-hello porn star, how are you? Jwoww has been rocking the porn star look for Roger, and it seems Snooks, who may indeed be a dude. Oh yeah, Snookarooney is a lil’ too verbal with her undying love and need to smush Jwoww. Yes, you did indeed read that right, now please excuse me for a second because I can taste my own vomit.
Pauly D-he hit it dead on with the 5 car crash analogy regarding Ronnie and Sammi’s relationship. Let’s take it one step further and note that some on lookers do vomit when seeing a car crash. Just sayin’.
The Sitch-for apologizing to Ronnie for breaking the bro code,not because he thought he was wrong, but to take the high road. In the name of all that is holy, Mikey is acting like an adult instead of a tool. God help me for sayin’ this but I love me some Situation lately, go ahead start your witch hunt, I don’t care.
Things we hate
Ronnie-hey, guess what is not a good mix? I’ll go with Exenedrine, ‘roids, and booze for 500 Alex. Yeah, so the Ronster went on a total ‘roid rage and beat the shizz out of a room. He was such a moron that I actually felt bad for Sammie and we all know that never happens because let’s face it, she sucks donkey.
Anywho, Ronnie went all sorts of crazy and then hit the town with the boys to go and get his drink on as ‘single Ron’. Unfortunately, Sammi had decided to hit up the same bar and get back at him by hooking up with the hottest guy she could get. Yes, I know the hottest guy looked like a reject from an Ed Hardy commercial but let’s just go with it, ok.
This infuriates Ron who again goes bezerk and tells Sammi that she is a dog and he’s done paying for his Miami fiasco. Then there’s a whole lot of you did this and you did that and finally they part ways. AGAIN. Let’s just hope they stay that way and Ronnie stops acting like the biggest douche on the planet.
Things that make you go hmmmm
Snooks and Deena-what was up with two mini meatballs trying to move Sammi’s bed? The whole falling down while trying to do it was just stoopid and made me think that Snooks was either straight up drunk or looking for a Snooki spin off. You be the judge. Oh and the comparison of her va jay jay and the hallway was just a brain bleaching nightmare.
Jersey Shore airs on Thursday night at 10pm Eastern time in Boston on MTV. That’s channel 210 for my FIOS peeps!
Best one liners
The staircase is really, really small and the bed is really, really wide. Kinda like an analogy of Vinny’s penis not fitting in my pee hole-Snookie
I’m taking the high road, ya know just to make him shut up-The Situation
At least what I did, I did behind your back and not in front of you.-Ronnie
So what do you think, will Sammi be back for round 3,000 or do you think she’s gone for good? What was your favorite one liner from last night? Let me know in the comment section below.