It’s only been a couple of days and I already miss your veal parm and chicken cutlets sooooo much! I hope Tommy, Timmy, Tony, Johnny, Ginny, Janey, Joey, Petey, Paula, Uncle Nino and everyone else on Staten Island is doing well. Thanks again for the shower caddy, I know it’s going to come in handy when people try to f*ck with my shampoos and soaps and stuff.
Being back at The Shore is sick! It’s so awesome to be with the roommates again (except Ronnie and Sam, who are still total buzzkills). Ron and Sam are so weird. They were the first people to get to the house and they set up shop in the biggest upstairs bedroom, the one with three beds. I grabbed one of the rooms with two beds and Pauly is bunking with me. No MVP room this summer. Mike is the odd man out, so he’s gotta sleep with Sam and Ron. Good luck smooshing with those two bickering 3 feet away!
Good news to report; no Angelina this time around. We got a new roomie instead. Snooks brought a friend from home, a crazy little “blast in a glass” named Deena. Ronnie thinks she looks like a Gremlin and Sammi keeps calling her a “meatball” but I don’t think she’s that bad. In fact, I was thisclose to hooking up with her in the hot-tub on the first night, but Snickers kinda c-blocked me. Actually now that I think about it, Deena kinda looks a little like Rachel Dratch…
Snooks is bitter because I hooked up with her girl Ryder a couple of weeks ago. She couldn’t be that mad about it though, considering she tried to make out with me in the hot tub mere seconds after I made a pass at Deena. I tried to let her down easy by saying, “I don’t want to hurt you because I care about you too much.” But really I denied her because it’s way too soon to be jumping on grenades.
Snooki wasn’t the only chick to get shot down on the first night. Deena threw herself at Mike after a rousing game of flip cup (or as she calls it “flip the cup”) only to discover that The Situation wasn’t quite ready to get situated. Somehow this lead to a screaming match between Deena (AKA The Rookie of the Year) and Sammi. Deena dropped a C-bomb on Sammi and Ronnie, as he is often wont to do, inserted himself into the fracas. Snooks jumped in to back up her girl and Jwoww was quick to follow. Before I knew it fist were flying. Day One and we already have our first fight. God, I love The Shore!
Your Son Vinny
Words To Live By:
- “I look like a hooker. Sick.” – Snooki
- “It smells like a situation.” – Mike
- “I can’t wait to go guy shopping. I love faux-hawks” – Deena
- “…Ron has a faux-hawk.” – Snooki
- “This is like gorrila-juice-head-guido heaven” – Snooki
- “I’m like a walking holiday” – Deena
- “If Deena was a holiday, she’d be Thanksgiving. She’s got a lot to give and she’s down for a lot of stuffing” – Mike