Why do we love people that can’t love us back? It’s the suffering faced on many romantic movies, countless love stories and endless journal entries. If you are stuck in this tragic pattern of falling into relationships that leave you feeling empty and deprived of love, you may be loving unavailable people.
It’s important to look at your choices in a partner so that you can get out of that intangible pattern and into a healthy and equal partnership. So how do you know if you love unavailable people? Maybe these tips below will offer insight and, if so, see how to move on!
If they’re committed – they’re unavailable!
I know it sounds so obvious, doesn’t it? But then you meet at a party and really hit it off, your talking and flirting outrageously and just as the night is really heating up, the cell phone rings. It’s the lover and friend who live in their shared apartment. But, don’t worry… they’re going to break up any day now. Which you tell yourself repeatedly every day as your feelings become stronger. Don’t justify this in your head. Don’t just be friends and don’t wait around. It’s a disaster waiting to happen. Your feelings are on the line. If you are honestly attracted to someone in a committed relationship, you are attracted to heartache. Walk away. Even if your fantasy of them breaking up comes true, watch your back. For the next time they cheat on the “lover-friend-they-are-living-with,” it will be you!
Don’t lie to yourself!
They said they would call you Saturday night but never do. Instead, you call on Monday and they just explain how crazy busy it’s been. Again, you justify this in your head instead of facing reality that you were so low on the priorities list that everything else comes before you. You are chasing someone who is unavailable and doesn’t care about you. You would rather make up excuses than face the fact that this relationship isn’t what you want it to be. If you believe that this relationship will end if you communicate how you really feel, then it’s not really a relationship.
Once is more than enough
You only have to love an unavailable person once in your life. You then have a choice – either do it the same way and feel the same way – or to try it another way and see what love has for you!
Finally it’s important to love yourself first. Treat yourself with dignity and respect. Nurture yourself with care and cherish friendships with loving people. You will soon find your way to attracting someone who can love you as much as you love yourself. We teach others how to treat us. If you are there for yourself, you won’t be able to tolerate someone who isn’t there for you.