Just about everything in “Just Go With It” is so incredibly unbelievable, offensive and idiotic. How could a single person in this movie read this script and think it sounded great? It’s not funny, nor is it even romantic.
The movie starts off with Danny (Adam Sandler) when he was younger. He’s about to get married but he overhears his fiancé talking horrible things about him to her bridesmaids. Of course, Danny isn’t perfect looking. His nose is ridiculously big (and obviously fake), but he’s going to be a cardiologist and that’s why the girl he’s with is about to get married to him. Danny leaves the wedding before it starts and hits the bars. He unintentionally keeps the wedding ring on his finger. He’s just so depressed he forgot to take it off. When he discovers that lying to women about being married to an abusive wife gets them to sleep with him, he decides to keep the ring and use this method wisely. He changes his career plans and becomes a plastic surgeon. He has a reduction operation done on his nose and turns out to be a normal looking guy. His plan to sleep with as many girls as possible by lying to them is still going strong until he’s at a party and he meets Palmer (Brooklyn Decker). After a night of rolling on the beach, Palmer discovers the wedding ring in Danny’s pant pocket. She gets offended and leaves, never wanting to hear from him again.
Danny thinks she is the one so he’s going to devise a plan to get her back. Sure, she’s 20 years younger than he is, but just go with the plot’s absurdity so far. He tells Palmer he’s going through a divorce and it’s in the final process. Palmer wants to meet this girl he’s divorcing. So Danny now has to come up with some master plan. He talks to his receptionist, Katherine (Jennifer Aniston), and convinces her to go along with being his soon-to-be ex-wife. For some reason, she is now known as Devlin (the term she tells her kids to say instead of saying “poop”). Everything is going according to plan until Katherine answers her phone and tells her kids to stop misbehaving. Now Palmer wants to meet the kids and the kids have to just go with Danny’s ridiculous plan.
They all end up going to Hawaii for a weekend getaway and Katherine runs into an old “friend” actually named Devlin (Nicole Kidman) and her oddball husband Ian (Dave Matthews).
What a coincidence!
Devlin wants to play catch up with Katherine and Danny is still trying to get Palmer to believe Danny is a man with a heart of gold. But the real Devlin believes Danny to be Katherine’s husband and Danny’s brother, Eddie (Nick Swardson), has come into the scene with the worst German accent ever to play Katherine’s supposed-to-be new lover, Dolph Lundgren (ha ha). No one asked him to. He just did it. So now it has all turned into one giant mess and Danny is going to do what he can to get Palmer.
There are so many lines where one of the cast members says the film’s title directly or indirectly that I started keeping a tally sheet. Then you could count the amount of absurd moments that are supposed to be funny where it feels like the director is telling the viewer, “Hey, it’s the same joke you’ve seen before. We know that, but just go with it.” Then there are jokes that are so offensive that it feels like the director is telling us, “Just go with it.” I gave up halfway through the movie.
There are so many scenes set to music that make it feel like the director is playing dumb with us. Hey, Palmer is walking slowly toward Danny and this indicates when they will first meet. Let’s slow the scene down and play “Nothing on You” by B.O.B and Bruno Mars. Hey, Katherine is showing up pretending to be Danny’s wife and she looks smokin’ hot. Let’s play The Police’s “Roxanne.” I tried keeping a tally sheet to see how many times music would match up with the scenes as well. And for some reason, just about every scene with a musical moment like this has to be slowed down. One involves everyone going into a Chuck E. Cheese-like restaurant. They start slowly walking while some song is playing. All of a sudden, a little kid and his pregnant mother run into the scene. The kid is being a brat and throws a milkshake at his mother’s stomach. Why this scene needed to be in slow motion (or even in the movie) is beyond me. Again, I gave up halfway through trying to figure out how many songs played to let the audience know something is going to happen.
From the moment this movie opens, it’s obvious that it’s going to be bad. And it goes from bad to worse within a matter of 20 minutes. Each character is so unbelievable and so unlikable. How is one supposed to be cheering for Danny when he’s a scumbag? How is one supposed to be laughing at the jokes made in this movie when they aren’t even funny to begin with? How is one supposed to believe any of this could actually happen? Well, no one is actually supposed to appreciate anything in this movie nor is anyone supposed to believe it could actually happen. We’re all supposed to just go with it.
Grade: D- (0.5/5 stars)
Now playing at Cinemark 14 in Chico, Paradise Cinema 7 in Paradise and Feather River Cinemas in Oroville
David also writes as the National Boardwalk Empire Examiner. Click here to read his articles.
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