Office romances have become much more prevalent these days, since most people spend a significant percentage of their time at work.
But becoming romantically involved with a workmate can create personal and professional problems, and become a dating disaster or career killer if the two people fail to keep certain things in mind. See article entitled 18 Ways a Workplace Affair Could Sabotage Your Career
The guidelines below will help you keep your office romance on a professional level and minimize many of the problems a workplace romance can cause.
Tips on Keeping Your Office Romance Professional
Never get involved in an office affair if either of you are married, engaged, or in a committed relationship.
Although the workplace has become the #1 place for cheating spouses to find willing partners with whom to have an affair, avoid workplace infidelity at all costs. It shows poor judgment on your part, and can cause all kinds of unnecessary problems. Not to mention the fact that your boss and your colleagues will view you in a different light. See article entitled 6 Signs YOU May Be The Other Woman in His Life – Are You Dating a Married Man?
Know your company’s policy regarding office romance.
Check your employee handbook, or with the Human Resources department where you work. Some companies have written policies against inter-office dating. Others require workmates who are dating each other to sign “love contracts” documents which state that the two employees are involved in a consensual affair. This protects the company (and the individuals) against sexual harassment suits.
Never get involved with someone in your direct chain of command.
Forget about becoming romantically involved with your boss, or someone whom you supervise. Confine your romantic attachments to someone who is a peer, rather than someone above or below you in rank. Even better, date someone in a completely different department from yours. Otherwise you could be accused of favoritism. If you’ve already ignored this and have already gotten involved with someone in your direct chain of command, see the suggestion below.
Don’t show or request favoritism regarding work assignments, raises, promotions or company perks.
If your office lover is in a position to ask or receive preferential treatment in the above-mentioned areas, many of your co-workers will automatically assume that there’s some favoritism being shown, even if that’s not the case. Keep your relationship above reproach. Don’t’ give them any solid basis for their belief.
Be discreet – keep your relationship under wraps.
The best way to do that is to not tell anyone at work that you are romantically involved with someone on the job. If it’s too late for that, because you’ve ignored this advice, or somehow one of your workmates already found out, see the suggestion below.
Keep it low key – don’t flaunt the fact that the two of you are romantically involved.
If you can’t keepyour office romance a secret, at least keep your workplace romance low key. Don’t boast to your colleagues that you’re dating the Vice President of Marketing, or broadcast to your workmates how great your office lover is in bed. See article entitled The 17 Rules Of Engagement For Workplace Romance
Don’t let your office romance interfere with productivity.
Your office romance should not become such a distraction that you, your office lover, or your coworkers can’t do your jobs. While you are at work, concentrate on work. Yourjob performance shouldn’t suffer because you’re daydreaming or flirting with flirting with office lover or planning your next date. Your workmates don’t need to be distracted with the details of your office love affair, or feel compelled to choose sides in a lover’s quarrel. Keep your office romance out of the office and focus on your work. You’re being paid to do a job, not have a love affair.
Avoid using company e-mail or voice mail for personal communication with you workplace lover.
No passionate, suggestive, or X-rated e-mails or voice mails to each other, unless you’re using your personal cell phone, computer, or laptop. Personal correspondence of any kind, sent to, or received from your office lover using company are NOT private, and can be legally accessed by your company. Furthermore, such communication between you and your lover could fall into the wrong hands – your boss, a vindictive co-worker, Human Resources, the company’s legal department – why take a chance. Be professional. Communicate with your office lover on your own cell phone or laptop, and don’t do it on company time.
Avoid using use company funds to entertain your partner, or finance your affair.
No thinly disguised business lunches or dinners on the company expense account. No booking trumped up business trips together, or reserving adjoining hotel rooms for legitimate business trips. Remember that conventions and conferences are company business trips, not romantic getaways. See article entitled Business Travel and Infidelity – How Cheating Men Use Business Travel to Hide Their Affairs
Do not engage in public displays of affection.
No cuddling, kissing, caressing, or making out, or [playing “footsie” under the boardroom table, even if you think no one can see. Apart from being highly unprofessional, there are “eyes” in places you’d least expect.
Do not exchange embarrassing or ostentatious flowers, cards or gifts.
Small, discreet, tasteful gifts are okay. Huge bouquets of flowers or balloons are not. No singing telegrams or their equivalent, no big flashy gifts that arouse the envy of co-workers, or become the topic of a water cooler discussion, or alert unsuspecting workmates to what’s going on.
Never engage in sex on company property.
No quickies in the stair wells, supply closets, empty conference rooms, each other’s office, or company parking lots. People are not fools – they know, or will quickly figure out what’s going on. Also keep in mind that most companies have hidden security cameras in strategic locations. You don’t want to provide X-rated entertainment for the company security staff.
Have a back-up career plan in case things take a negative turn.
If things don’t work out and you dump your office lover, or he/she dumps you, be prepared to find another job just in case it becomes unbearable to continue working with a former lover. See the articles entitled 40 Fatal Signs That You’re about to Be Dumped and 17 Subtle Signs That Your Marriage or Relationship is About to End. If you did the dumping, keep the details about the breakup to yourself to save your office lover from embarrassment. If you were the one dumped, forget about trying to trying to get even by sabotaging your ex-lover’s work or career. Act like a professional, but it behind you, and move on.
*** © copyright 2011 Ruth Houston / All Rights Reserved.
Ruth Houston is a New York-based infidelity expert who is frequently called on by the media to comment on high profile infidelity and popular infidelity issues in the news. She is the founder of www.InfidelityAdvice.com, the author of Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs, and publishes the Infidelity News and Views blog. To interview infidelity expert Ruth Houston, or have her spe
ak at your next event, call 718 592-6029 or e-mail InfidelityExpert@gmail.com
For more information on office romances and workplace affairs, visit www.NationalInfidelity.com, or see the articles below:
18 Ways a Workplace Affair Could Sabotage Your Career
Do Work Spouse Relationships Lead to Workplace Affairs?
Infidelity Traps – 12 Ways People Unintentionally Get Drawn into Cheating on Their Mates
Business Travel and Infidelity – How Cheating Men Use Business Travel to Hide Their Affairs
17 Subtle Signs That Your Marriage or Relationship is About to End
40 Fatal Signs That You’re about to Be Dumped
6 Signs YOU May Be The Other Woman in His Life – Are You Dating a Married Man?
The 17 Rules Of Engagement For Workplace Romance
David Letterman Broke 2 Cardinal Rules Governing Workplace Romance
28 Ways to Stay Faithful to Your Mate (free tip sheet)
The Best Investment You Can Make in Your Relationship for 2011
FREE Infidelity Tip Sheets for Men and Women with Cheating Mates