Ok. Sometimes I prance like a proud peacock. Today though I felt like a humble street pigeon. Why? Because my son did not want to buy or exchange Valentine’s Day cards at school. I guess, when I consider my husband as my best friend, there are negative drawbacks. Oh, you caught me again? Well, I meant, my husband is my only friend. That is the real problem. Oh well, fodder for another article.
Enhance romance by double dating
Richard B. Slatcher, professor of psychology, Wayne State University has found that dating couples who routinely share activities with other couples are more likely to have happy and satisfying romantic relationships (2010). Over the course of the controlled study, Slatcher discovered that the friendships formed by participants ‘put a spark in their own romantic relationship,’ making it more satisfying. So a benefit to leading a social life would be a better, more enhance private life with your intimate other. Another added benefit? See below.
Why do we need to include other couples and families in our fun couple and family time?
Shy, those with high self doubt, or introverted parents who are uncomfortable in social situations, as conventional wisdom would have it, are less likely than their more outgoing peers to continually expose their children to new people and experiences. Limiting or restricting a child’s exposure to situations involving social interaction can detrimentally impact a child’s comfort level and make it more difficult for the child to socialize with others. What are some of the other ways to improve your child’s social skills?
Ways to improve your child’s social ability skills
- Model appropriate behavior with your spouse when communicating, interacting and arguing withas well as listening to one another.
- Increase and vary social exposure. Register your children in classes, summer, sports and extracurricular programs (or help develop a hobby) that will give them opportunities to learn, practice and master the art of social skills with children near to their own age.
- Frequent and utilize extended family gatherings as a ‘social learning laboratory.’ Family reunions, holiday traditions and other outings provide children with (1) a large social and support network, (2) the chance to see how other children-to-adults and children to children interact, and serve to (3) enhance a child’s self esteem through the exploration of new ways of communicating and challenging oneself in non intrusive ways and in a non-threatening environment.
- Refrain from harsh judgment, criticism, gossip, and name-calling while in the presence of your child.
- Make a point to have your child observe you at your best authentic self when socializing with others. Teachable moments could include conversing on the phone, hosting social parties, sending ‘Best Wishes’ and holiday cards to your friends and family, going on a girls night out or men’s only sports brewery.
This morning, I’ve realized that I need to work harder on improving my social interaction skills, if not for me and my husband; but for the benefit of my child also.
Slatcher, R.B. (2010). When Harry and Sally met Dickj and Jane: Creating closeness between couples. Personal Relationships; 17 (2) 279.
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