Finding your other half is a heart thumping moment in one’s life. It’s the pivotal vertex that leads you into a whole other sphere of partnership and commitment. Although your courtship will undoubtedly become peak memories together, there is a harsh reality that marriage does come with some compromises. Merging families, different backgrounds and joint decision making can all be challenging adaptations that newlywed couples face. One common source of conflict amongst this population is the inevitable “flux” time of sharing the same living space. Although some couples adapt quickly to their new living arrangements, others have difficulty and ask “is this normal to be frustrated with my partner at such an exciting time of our relationship?” The answer is absolutely yes! Here are two typical issues that newlyweds face after just moving in with one another.
Stuff~ There are those who are minimalists and those who love to pack as much “stuff” into their lives as possible. For two people situated at opposite ends of the spectrum, this issue can become quite problematic. Bringing two “life loads” of personal property from everything to books and CD’s to furniture and knick knacks can be a frustrating task when trying to create one new life living space together. One way to curtail the stress of this situation is to equate the amount of “stuff” that each contributes to the home. Agree to eliminate a certain amount unneeded or unnecessary artifacts and focus on building a new base that represents both parties. Most importantly, be respectful to your loved one’s property and try to remember that your journey with your mate is not built on “things” but your love for each other.
Habits~Although you are completely swept off your feet and within a whirlwind of elated emotion as a newlywed, there are certain habits that may be impossible to ignore once you share the same key. Bear like snoring, oozing toothpaste tubes, hair in the drain, hogging covers and not replacing the empty toilet role in the bathroom are some of the complaints typical to those who have just walked down the aisle. Try to stay calm and talk to your partner about one or two of your concerns and make private accommodations for yourself without letting on to your spouse. Ear plugs and extra toiletries underneath the sink might alleviate some of these uncomfortable moments. Keep in mind, no one likes to be ambushed with their short comings so be sensitive towards their feelings. After all, nobody’s perfect!
For couples looking for extra marriage guidance in the Boston area, seek the expertise by appointment or email of Dr. Gloria at Back Bay Counseling on Commonwealth Ave.