A lot of times people are so eager to get serious they overlook a very important part of taking that next step. Before you settle down with a person and get all “serious,” it is best to make sure that you see eye to eye on a few things. Before deciding to make things official, here are the top 5 things to discuss before you and he become ‘us’:
- In New York City, the ratio of women to men is incredible. It is important that you and your mate discuss the parameters of what is considered “cheating.” Instead of waiting for a situation to happen, it is best that you map out what you and your mate expect from each other when dealing with members of the opposite sex. It is difficult to avoid problems when one person thinks it’s OK to do anything with someone but have sex, while the other is more conservative and keeps things platonic. Knowing what should/shouldn’t/can’t/won’t be tolerated as far as the opposite sex goes can save a lot of people drama. And if it turns out that you do not agree or cannot conform, then perhaps this is not the relationship for you.
- The wrong time to discuss if you and your mate want to start a family is when you are staring at the positive on the pregnancy stick. This needs to be established way ahead of time. Along with the decision to have or not have kids comes responsibility of discipline and how the child is going to be raised. That also needs to be discussed. It is difficult when faced with these situations at the moment to make those kinds of decisions. And when people don’t agree when it comes to children, problems often arise. Some relationships end because of it.
- Finances are at the root of a lot of problems. Knowing who is going to pay for what, what bills are going to be split, how much money needs to be spent for food, are all things to consider when becoming serious with someone. It is amazing how something like money could be the cause of a slew of problems, but it is the root of a lot of evil. In a relationship, something as simple as a woman making more than her mate can cause a problem. All things financial need to be addressed up front. If there are any problems or folks don’t see eye to eye, either figure out how to deal or move along.
- Boyfriend/husband and girlfriend/wife expectations are a must-discuss. Knowing the role you play in a relationship is as important as knowing your blood type. A person in a relationship shouldn’t have to guess at that or be disappointed when a person doesn’t deliver. Knowing exactly what someone expects of you gives you the opportunity to either get it together or move along.
- Family and friends don’t belong in the middle of a relationship … period. It is important that two people understand the place their friends and family have in their union. If you are still heavily persuaded by friends or members of your family, then perhaps you are not ready for a relationship. Friends and family can bury a relationship. Family members meddling, interfering, gossiping and simply not minding their own business can cause two people to go their separate ways. It boils down to respect, and in a relationship that is a non-negotiable. If your mate can’t keep their friends/family in check, then perhaps you should go find someone who will.