Last week I opened up my three-part series highlighting the groupie lifestyle by talking about them pertaining to All Star Weekend. But now that that weekend is over, the groupies are returning to their respective hoods and going back to business as usual.
Lately, there’s been a clear divider amonst the groupies though; a hierarchy if you will. A fellow Examiner from Charlotte did a great article on what a groupie is exactly. 1 of my favorites from her post was a definition given from someone she polled — “A groupie can be a guy or a girl. They latch on to someone else for what they have and try to come up from someone else’s hard work.” Given that definition, the groupie paradigm becomes very open. However, there remains 3 basic but distinct categories of groupies. Shall we?
The Professional Groupie: This type is strictly industry! You might find her disguised as a stylist, personal assistant, personal shopper, celebrity host, or the dreaded “model”. If she’s college-educated, she may fancy herself as his lawyer, accountant, business manager, publicist, or realtor. On the surface you would never think she’s a groupie because her day is filled with being in the midst of celebrities or men with money and power. But if you take a look at her social calendar, she never hangs out with us common folk. She’s a mainstay RSVP name at every industry event. She’s always on the red carpet with a familiar male face. And at some point, she’ll become the girlfriend or baby’s momma of a prominent male celebrity (sans Hoopz or LaLa Vazquez). Very few women can be in this circle because it takes actual work or talent!
The mid-level groupie: Who knew your average Tom, Dick, and Harry could have a female harem? There’s a common saying that if a man leads with his money, he can’t expect a woman to not want a piece of it. The mid-level groupie is the type that’ll ask “what do you do?” before she even knows your name or age. They tend to pursue the guys that are known around town; promoters, doctors, and lawyers. Wait, like a club promoter? Yes! That guy has groupies too! It might seem like a big jump from a club promoter to a lawyer, but in cities like Atlanta and Houston, the nightlife is a big deal. Just as a lawyer lives in a gated community with a 5bedroom, 4 bathroom, 3000 sq ft mansion, so can a club promoter. Every woman wants a handsome, well-respected doctor to claim as her own; but free bottle service is hard to turn down right?
The basic groupie: This type is pretty simple. She’ll chase a dude’s pocket just because he has a job. For her, it doesn’t matter if he’s a UPS driver or owner of the local Subway. As stated in the aforementioned definition of a groupie, this type of groupie just wants a poor simp to take advantage of. She has no problem trading sexual favors for a crisp $100 bill. She also doesn’t care too much about how the guy looks aesthetically. With the professional and mid-level groupie, being attractive isn’t an option; it’s a MUST. For the basic groupie, though, long as you have all your limbs and go to your job every day to collect that check, she’s interested.
The mid-level groupie category has the most competition for females. The variety for a man is over-whelming, however the supply curve of the mid-level groupie’s target is relatively narrow. That being said, if you’re going to be a groupie, you have to have some type of gimmick to lure your target in. You have to hustle the hustler.
Part III will be up Wednesday!