It’s a common story: the woman who’s been married for ten years is devastated when she finds porn on her husband’s laptop. What we don’t hear about too often is the newlywed couple who no longer has sex because while one partner has passed out while waiting for the other to log off the computer and head to the bedroom. In the “New Rules” segment of last Friday’s episode of his weekly show, Bill Maher addresses this issue.
Now, there are many reasons why people watch porn. Sometimes it’s boredom, sometimes it’s curiosity, and sometimes, it’s because it’s just plain fun to watch. It can even inspire some creativity in your own sex life; maybe you’ll see something that you’ve never thought of doing before but is just so hot that you have to try it. But I’m with Bill when he says that it should be “Plan B”, and that all too often, people resort to it out of sheer laziness. Despite the fact that there is a willing partner present, pornhub.com becomes Plan A.
To say that porn addiction is a problem that exists solely in Middle America, where people tend to be less active and less health conscious than those living on either coast, would be ignorant. With couples working increasingly long hours to pay exorbitant Manhattan rents, many would rather take care of their basic needs themselves, with help from Vivid, than take the time to seduce their partners. But what if one partner hasn’t been in the mood for several days? When marriages dissolve because of sex (or lack thereof), it is often because of another underlying issue, such as excessive stress or depression. This is where communication is key. Sadly, many people would rather take matters into their own hands (literally) than talk to their partner about what is going on.
Bill Maher knows what viewers who hear his “New Rule” are thinking: “Bill Maher anti-porn, that’s like the Pope being anti wearing a dress”. While he is not in fact anti-porn, he does believe there is a time and a place for it. Indeed, there are plenty of times that are appropriate to watch porn; for example, when your wife is on a business trip or out with her girlfriends. The least you can do is wait until she’s out of the house. Or watch together, if she’s willing. Once you allow it to cut into the time the two of you could’ve spent copulating, you can be sure that feelings of resentment and inadequacy will follow, which are two reasons that women often site for having affairs. Bottom line: people who’d rather watch porn than have actual sex should stay single. “Between him masturbating at the keyboard, and her crying herself to sleep” , as Bill says, it would save them tons of money on paper products.