With all the sexually transmitted diseases out there that make your closest friend afraid to share their dishware with you when they find out you are positive, when is the right time to have sex with a new partner? Yes, we all know about using condoms and dental dam but what protects us emotionally? One idea is to not let your emotions dictate your actions. Sometimes we feel lonely or apply pressure on ourselves unnecessarily and these feelings cause us to do actions that we may regret. One action is sleeping with a partner too soon because afterwards and it doesn’t have to be the morning, feelings of insecurities creep in to the syce. Questions like: Will they call me? Did I catch anything? Am I pregnuant? Oh, what is this? Sometimes we allow ourselves to write our own scripts in our heads before we even act on a situation and then we don’t even follow the script, we do just the opposite.
Why? One reason might be we allow our negative emotions to dictate our actions. Sometimes some people are too horny or lonely to think very clearly about their decisions. Anyone who has felt these two powerful and annoying feelings especially if you are single with just a contact list in your blackberry staring back at you, it can be hard to think rationally as to how to proceed. So what should we do? Keep reading. Dr. Sadie Allison a sexologist always says practice safe sex. I agree, keep an ample supply with you at all times like a protective order in a purse. It is that serious. When duty calls no time for a lot of thinking we want to act. But what is the right time to have sex with a new partner in the DMV or anywhere? With the high AIDS rate in the U.S., Far side should have a comic presenting a picture of a line of people really wanting to get in to a club when it is raining and the bouncer at the door is checking people’s STD records with permission from the people in line. The bouncer looks at the next couple in line anguish to get in and says, is this a positive or negative sign the ink has smeared? Don’t sell yourself short, I believe, we are all on this earth for a purpose, so make the most of it. Have fun, be safe and become one of the lucky or blessed who find and keep a great connection with their partner whatever that means to you.
Just remember, it takes more than your emotions to make that connection, your partner has feelings too and hopefully you both connect on the same station, same tune. With having sex with a new partner how do you get on the same page? I believe communication, communication, communication. So, now we are getting down to details. How do you know if your new partner is saying the truth or what you want to hear? Annoying yes? Well, we go back to actions. Some people trust what they hear and have sex with a new partner and hope for the best. While others, might be creative and explore foreplay and then have sex another time. Either way communication is extremely important. Talk to your partner, listen more, discern more and be safe. For the great feelings of the tightening of the pelvic muscles, emotions, and intense energy is exhilarating and so is your life. You didn’t get on this earth on your own so make it count!
If communicating is hard for you, keep reading. Find your learning style like visual, kinetics, auditory, visual or a combination of different styles. www.tecweb.org/styles/gardner.html
Once you find what works best for you, stick with it when discussing relationship issues. Stick to a learning style to help you communicate better.glowbass.com/marriage-in-lubbock/consideration-lear. Try not to change what is comfortable to you just to please your new partner. The right partner will respect you for it. So, keep communicating, keep sharing your genuine thoughts (without scaring you partner) and single life may change. If you enjoy the single life, I leave you with this, protect yourself and your partner. With either choice, never stop communicating through sending a message whether it’s through writing, speaking, touching or seeing in to someone’s eyes, but most importantly send a message by thinking clearly first. Peace and love always, Moya Fox